I used to hide the peanut butter in the freezer before I went to work because some crazy bitch would come into my house at the end of the day and eat it all : it was the only thing she knew how to do, to calm herself down.
Actually, I’m lying that crazy bitch was me. And she wasn’t really a crazy bitch, she was confused, lost, overwhelmed, had no idea how to self regulate, and didn’t realise that restrictive diets (at that time Paleo) was perpetuating the binge diet cycle.
But I still hid the peanut butter from myself, and then evening Kelley would be FURIOUS at morning Kelley for freezing the peanut butter again. BITCH!
It wasn’t fun, but it was a step up from laying in my bathtub drinking vodka from the bottle having a crank to Coco Rosie whilst I considered whether or not burn my possessions and go live in a commune, if they’d have me, they probably wouldn’t have me, I was fucked.
When I finally ditched the drugs and booze, I still had problems. My panic attacks and bulimia came back full pelt. I was out of control and thought I was having a mental breakdown. I was later told I was having a mental breakthrough which is much more appropriate.
I broke the fuck down and then built myself back up piece by piece, day by day, step by step using every book, tool, online course, and training I could get my hands on. I devoured anything on Buddhism, the nervous system, psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, female empowerment, disordered eating, personal development, stoicism, books about my vagina, my blood, my tears, my childhood, my anatomy.
I learnt what FOOD is, what the body needs, what it means to LOVE, I learnt how to love MYSELF.
I cried through hours of loving-kindness meditations until I finally felt something. Then I got serious and decided to dedicate my life to helping other fed-up women sort their shit out because I KNOW there are other people out there crying in the bathtub and freezing peanut butter. I cannot sit back and let it go on.
Now this is what I do and I love it!
My coaching is designed to give you the knowledge tools and encouragement you need to break out of that cycle .
I have done it, my clients do, you can do it. Find out more here
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